Day 13

Breaking Up

After all the Minstrations,
Gyrations and
Generous libations
We've got great style.
You Swept me off my feet,
Absolutely.
First time for everything:)
Your good was gooood.
So good i was in love.
Made the world stop turnin when i used to walk out my door to see you.
Now its all changed
Guess the world moved on
And left us without a band
Cause i cant hear the music no more.
We had the good times babe
I been seein you
And you, I think you been seein me.
Suddenly the lights came on
And we just arent so stoked on what we see
So lets just move on
Now let it be.
Ill always love you babe
And damn i hope you always love me
But its never going to be the way it used to be.
Dammit.

Alone

Surrounded by the stuff of a life
The detritus of pieces of life
Lived and lost or landed in the wrong place
Walking through the days
Without purpose or drive
Lessons learned
Lessons burned
Hopes and aspirations
What are those?
What do you want?
What will you do?
What matters to you?
Can you see through the haze
And the turns in the maze
That it can all be so clear
Just let go of the controls
Dont be so easy to craze
Youll throw it all away
If you dont find something in this haze
Maybe your there
Its all right in front of you
Close your eyes to see the truth
Accept
Alone

A New Start

I am going to start my day by sleeping alone.
Its a little sad.
And Im feeling the bruising, grating emotion from someone very special out there right now who I will be missing tonite.

My heart has been filled.
And today it was knocked over, mostly by myself but it does take two in the end.

I do miss you my love.

I know that tonite you will find this painful to read and not very satisfying, you may even try to deny it.
But as time passes know that the love we shared cannot be extinguished and the moments we had are eternal.
We may not continue on together physically, but our spirits have joined forever and I am joyful for this.
I may have said some harsh words during our journey together.
The path we traveled was not always smooth.
But know that you may always call on me,
for I am still your friend.

Sleep well.  

A New Day

Started three minutes ago.

Somebody smart recounted recently how many days, and hours, and minutes the average person gets in a lifetime.
Right along with how many hours we spend in traffic, and how many minutes we spend standing in lines.
Im glad we dont ruminate on these silly facts very often, guess thats why we continue to sit in traffic and lines.
Everyone except my brother and good friend Amos that is.  The two souls I know who have mostly managed to arrange there lives so as to avoid these mostly useless experiences.
But I digress.

But today is a NEW day.
And we get one of these every twenty four hours.

Take that for what you will.

Have a great Day:)

Feeling Better

One comment Ive gotten so far - "Your posts are Depressing."

Well, being laid up indefinitely does give one pause and can lead to some soul searching that will bring out a darker side.

Let it be known - I do have a darker side;)

I say this with a wink and nod because....
...  its true I do have some dark thoughts and occasional bouts with negativity

Ive always had a glass half full approach to life and the daily grind we all face each day.

Daily Grind... or Daily Dance in this paradise which all find ourselves living in.

Now, especially NOW for me, is a moment to focus on this daily dance and the beautiful opportunities that each moment holds for us.
Ive been easily swayed in the past, and will face again in the future, the bouts of self doubt and trauma of self afflicted moroseness.

I want to thank those of you who are close to me who sometimes subtly remind me that the person they know is renowned for the positive energy and past amazing exploits which are testament to the amazing opportunities we all have in life.

And so today I can report that physically as well as mentally, I am Feeling Better.

Great things lay before us my friends:)

Dedicated to my beautiful partner of the past year that I have recently struggled so passionately to understand and accept.
I love you always Allison.

First Checkup

Heres what I woke up to this morning -
Cough
Bend over let me pull those staples out of the your back.

Not a pretty picture?
It didn't hurt, much.
2 more weeks of rest.

Oxycodone is 20 cents a pill - what a deal.

Ques: Walking?
Re: If you feel like it.
Ques:  Can I walk to the park?
Re:  Maybe your not listening to what Im saying.  You need to rest.  Walk as much as you like.  Dont try and exercise it.  Do whats comfortable.
Ques: Now that Ive lost so much material in my L5 disc will I be shorter?
Re:  No
Ques:  Can I get more drugs?
Re: Yes

I've been in a daze for the past week.
First quarantined to quarters.
Second being drugged enough that walking feels like Im on the moon - bouncy

Its not all bad.
I can followup on all my random thoughts.
I have endless time for research.
The mind boggles at the possibilities.

The mind is weak in the face of Netflix.